A New Person

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." ~Psalm 51:10

Things we tell ourselves to discourage ourselves...Somedays you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed...Today is just not my day...Today was just not meant to be...Why did this have to happen, today of all day's...Why does all this different stuff keep happening to me...Some people were just handed life on a silver platter, why does mine have to be so difficult...

On and on I could go, because I have said those things. I have felt those things. Somedays, I just wanted to stick my head back under the covers and never even get out of bed. Last week, I thought I had lost 3 things that I was emotionally attached too. All three for different reasons. I lost them all in 5 days. Why would God let something like this happen to someone? It started with last Wednesday...I got some news I knew was coming, but didn't know the extent of everything...Friday was my last day at my job at the university...Sunday, my PawPaw passed away. The week before I about drove myself nuts worrying about nothing that I could fix. I could not make a bit of difference on Wednesday...Losing my job was a choice between me and my employer...Losing my grandfather is just a part of life. I know that may sound a bit to the point and almost crude, but we can't change or choose the day we leave this earth. I have spent so much time worrying about things that I could do nothing about instead of focusing on what I could change. So, with that in mind, I've ask God to "Create in me a clean heart, oh Lord, my God, and renew a right spirit within me"....

Asking this is no little thing. This is where I lose all control. This is where I hand everything over to Him! He's the Great Physician, the Mighty Conquerer, the Prince of Peace, the Lily of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star!!! He can handle things much better than I can.

Here is what I can do...I can listen to His voice...I can be a better mother, wife, daughter, student, and person. I can cut the grass...I can cook meals...I can plan menues...I can budget better...I can help the kids on homework and projects, I can work on my senior project...I can do laundry...I can turn the TV off all day long and listen to music...I can focus on what He wants me to do. I didn't lose my job...I've gained the hardest job in the world, but I believe that is what God wants for me...I didn't lose my grandfather, because I have many memories in my heart. I didn't lose last Wednesday...I gained a new perspective on living each day to the fullest, because I can. Today, I have a family, a house, a van, a lawnmower, food in my cabinets and refrigerator, water to drink and bathe with...what else do I need? Nothing, except for God working in my heart to keep my path straight and my heart clean. Love is the greatest gift of all and I should be sharing that love each and every day through the work I do at home, the projects I'm working on, and the people I'm around. "And these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love, but the Greatest of these is Love" ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13